Most of my work is a mash of all different types of techniques including traditional and digital but this time I wanted to just paint the whole thing. The canvas I used is exactly 12 inches and the inner label canvasses are 6 inches. I feel it is not correct to use metric when describing record covers.

It’s for Mungolian Jetset, it’s called Moon Jocks and Prog Rocks, it’s disco, and it’s coming out on Smalltown Supersound soon.

Inevitable work from someone with chronic long term exposure to lolcats, B3TA, Strongbad, MySpace, Rather Good et al. Here are the printed cards of my new ‘Graphic Interchange Format’ paintings. That’s the .gif file extension for all your geekeroonies… and here’s an emoticon for good measure

Acrylic on canvas – now digital print on card.

I decided to paint a tree on the walls of my apartment – inspired by Japanese artist Yayoi Kusama and her spotted tree installations and the beautiful wrapping of bare trunks with tiny white lights in the dark of the Scandinavian winter.

Also it serves as a handy perch for my Ed Carpenter designed “pigeon light” which has for the past few years been suspended precariously in the middle of various unsuitable habitats but can now perch safely on the boughs of this painting.

In what teeters between being one of the most self indulgent loads of old crap that has ever gushed from my idiot brain to a masterstoke of highly commercial genre changing childrens writing, I have put pen to paper and started a childrens book.

It’s about my two cats; Chairman Miaow, who is called “The Grand Wizard” in the book and Sooty, who is called “His Very Charming Shadow”. It’s about co-dependence, how one part of someone else makes up the bits you don’t have and vice versa. It’s also about the hidden charms of cats (read people) and how sometimes the people who take the longest to get to know are the people who are really worth getting to know.

It’s also about Britain and the shocking state of the country.

Here is a quick snap of the cover, I will of course be illustrating it myself.

What’s so good about love anyway? Are you acting mad? Watching DVD’s on a Saturday night? Wearing clothes you previously thought were rubbish? Pretending to like football or shopping or Games Workshop or early Floyd (delete as applicable)? Thinking about moving to the country? Getting a cat? Yes… sometimes romantic ain’t the fantastic. If you find yourself slipping into this quagmire of insanity that is LOVE , especially at this incendiary time for all things fluffy they call Valentines day follow these simple rules for self preservation.

Rule number one: NEVER LOOK AT A SUNSET WITH YOUR OBJECT OF DESIRE. Thousands of years of filmic cliche have programmed the human brain to believe this is when you are falling in love. Look away when it’s blazing red, purple and pink… when it’s all black it’s ok to look… but be really careful of THE STARS (see rule number two).

Rule number two: NEVER LOOK AT THE STARS WITH YOUR OBJECT OF DESIRE. There’s some kind of voodoo you can’t control when the stars come out. If one shoots across the sky then you’ve no chance. Give up now and check the internet for the best mortgage deals.

Rule number three: NEVER DRINK ONE OR TWO GLASSES OF CHAMPAGNE WITH THE OBJECT OF YOUR DESIRE. This can lead to all kinds of irrational, gooey type stuff. You may feel warm inside, you may also be great company… witty, attractive and charming. If this happens keep on drinking but switch to Snakebite, all these positives quickly invert and you will become bullish, arrogant and vulgar and also completely unloveable.

Rule number four: AVOID THE MUSIC OF THE ACOUSTIC WHILST WITH THE OBJECT OF YOUR DESIRE. A lonesome guitar being gently strummed by a beautiful, tortured young man or woman will only lead to trouble. You will experience emotions that you simply can’t handle. Don’t attempt this.

Rule number five: NEVER USE CANDLES WHILST WITH THE OBJECT OF YOUR DESIRE. A persons face may be a craggy ole spade but in candlelight it is transformed into a vision of utter beauty. Put the BIG LIGHTS on and think hard before you light up.

Rule number six: ALWAYS KEEP AT LEAST A METRE AWAY FROM THE OBJECT OF YOUR DESIRE. You’re a soft machine and sometimes your wiring goes haywire.

Rule number seven: NEVER EXCHANGE MIXTAPES WITH THE OBJECT OF YOUR DESIRE. “oh my god I can’t believe we are so alike, I love that record toooooo!” you squeal with delight as you struggle against the forces of fate that has brought you in touch with your soulmate. WAKE UP DUH-BRAIN! Everbody loves that record, that’s why it was number one for 8 weeks in 1973.

Rule number eight: ALWAYS… NO NEVER GO TO PLACES OF IMMENSE NATURAL BEAUTY WITH YOUR OBJECT OF DESIRE. Mountains, lakes, fjords, sweeping vistas are only for those who like to have their heart broken. Play it safe and check out the local shopping precinct.

So there you have it. A foolproof guide.